WOMEN are putting on winning performances in the bedroom.
One in every ten women admits to pretending, sometimes as often as once a week, and two in three women fail to climax during every sex session, says the study carried out by Durex.
Boredom, their partner taking too long and feeling bad for their other half are the main reasons they say they resort to acting.
Here, DIANA APPLEYARD talks to four women about why they have faked it between the sheets and relationship expert Dr PAM SPURR gives her advice for satisfying sex.
I COULD win an Oscar for my orgasmic performances. Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally has nothing on me.
I can out-scream and out-writhe anyone. I am totally brilliant at it – but then I have been practising all my sexual life.
I can bring myself to orgasm but it can be hard, take a long time and I really have to concentrate.
With a guy, I don’t stand a chance. I have to fake it every time because if you don’t the guy thinks he has failed and you have to go through endless stroking of his ego.
I can out-scream and out-writhe anyone. I could win an Oscar
When I tell friends about my situation they act as if I am really missing out.
If I am honest, it is very frustrating. But the longer this situation goes on, the less likely it seems to be that I will be able to reach orgasm.
I’ve even given myself a headache during sex because I am concentrating so hard on trying to be satisfied.
It doesn’t matter what the guy does, something happens in my brain which blocks me letting go. Maybe I am thinking too much about it.
I agree with the survey that a lot of British women are faking it as other friends I’ve spoken to agree that they can’t orgasm either and when it just seems to go on and on, it’s much easier to fake it quickly to make the man feel good.
I started having sex in my late teens and I’ve had one long-term relationship, which lasted a year and a half.
I told a guy during an argument that he couldn’t do it for me and he was appalled. It was like the greatest slur against his manhood.
One of the problems is I feel guilty for not having an orgasm – and I think if you focus on that guilt and the negative feelings, the chance of having one is nil and the longer it goes on, the less likely it is to happen.
I am hopeful that one day I’ll become orgasmic in a relationship but the guy is going to have to be very patient and understanding.
I WAS in my mid-thirties before I managed to have an orgasm. I had no idea what the experience felt like and I always used to fake it.
I was married to my first husband for 12 years and he didn’t seem to think there was any need for me to climax.
I had children early in my twenties and I was so exhausted that our sex life took a back seat anyway.
When I split from him and started dating other men I felt I ought to try to have an orgasm but didn’t know how, so I just carried on faking it.
One friend described it as being like a very enjoyable sneeze
Partly this was because I was so embarrassed. I felt less of a woman because I thought I couldn’t have an orgasm, and when they tried so hard it was a lot easier all round just to fake it so that they would stop.
With my first husband, my lack of orgasms definitely affected our relationship. When we separated we hadn’t had sex for a year and I couldn’t bear him touching me.
When I married my second husband, he knew I wasn’t orgasmic and it became just an accepted part of our marriage. We broke up for different reasons.
I was curious though and wanted to know what an orgasm felt like. One friend described it being like a very enjoyable sneeze.
In the end I bought myself a vibrator and started experimenting on my own – and finally, in my mid-thirties, I achieved it. The sensation was overwhelming. At last I knew what all the fuss was about.
It totally changed sex for me. It had been all about pleasing a man, now I felt that I was an equal partner in sex.
I now feel in a good place sexually and have learned a lot more about my body.
I feel you become more relaxed with age and more comfortable with your body.
There are so many things that can affect a woman’s ability to orgasm but the feeling seems more intense as I get older and more experienced.
WHEN I was younger I used to occasionally fake it because I found it quite hard to orgasm with a man.
Many younger women are the same because you don’t know your body so well.
But I found it so hard to pretend. Faking an orgasm is pointless.
All you are doing, effectively, is lying to a man.
You will feel cheated and the whole sexual experience will have been a waste.
I am a very honest person and I would hate myself if I faked having orgasms these days. I have learned from having done that in the past.
I genuinely do not think it is fair to men because it makes a mockery of sex, which is such an intimate, truthful act.
Younger women don’t seem to know their bodies so well
I started having sex was I was about 18 and gradually I have come to know myself and my body and what works for me.
Over the past two years I have had two serious relationships and I have had no problems having orgasms with those boyfriends.
You find what works for you, then you guide them.
I don’t think it is fair to leave it all to the man and expect him to know what works for you because every woman is different.
I don’t have an orgasm every time I have sex but I don’t care.
If I am too tired or the mood is not right, then I’ll be honest and say, “It didn’t work for me”.
Men are disappointed if you don’t climax but it is better to tell them than fake it.
Surely they wouldn’t trust you again if they found out you are lying?
It is such an intimate act, and it is a betrayal of trust.
Ideally, sex should result in two orgasms but women do find it harder and it takes longer for them.
But when you achieve it, that is a beautiful thing and it makes a relationship much stronger.
If you fake it you will begin to resent the other person.
BEING able to relax and really trusting the other person is the key to having an orgasm.
If you are rushed, you have had too much to drink or are uncertain about the relationship in any way I think it’s much harder to achieve one.
I’ve only had a few one-night stands but I’ve never been fully satisfied with a guy I’ve just met. I fake it every time to please them and get it over with.
Men seem to think it is the ultimate insult if they can’t make you climax, so it’s much easier just to pretend and make them feel good.
Men are more selfish during one-night stands, it's all about them
If you find the right way then it tends to happen every time and the more you achieve orgasm, the easier it seems to get.
In the past I have tensed up. I was with one guy for a couple of years but I later found out he was cheating and sleeping with other women too.
He made me feel nervous in bed and I couldn’t relax.
Out of all my sexual experiences I have achieved orgasm on about 20 per cent of the time.
I don’t think I am that unusual, it’s probably true for a lot of women, especially those who are in and out of relationships.
It takes a long time to find the man who really makes it work for you.
If you fake it, as I have done for so long in the past, it creates a barrier in a relationship.
They can be thinking, “She’s having amazing orgasms” while I am thinking, “I had to fake it yet again”.
Plus men are more selfish during one-night stands, it’s all about their performance and their needs.
I’m now in a relationship with a guy who makes me feel very sexy and very happy and we know what works for us.
We have been together for about five months and I am having a very successful sexual relationship with him.
It’s because I trust him, and also he has a great technique and takes the time to make me feel good.